Never Too Late
by Mii-Chan 24
Summary: I heard what the others said; I wasn't stupid. Aw… Poor Leah. She used to be so nice... Sam was such a good influence on her... Now look at her, the bitter shrew..." Leah muses on being a werewolf. Rated T for language


**Never Too Late**

**By Amaya 24**

**A/N: I think people are too harsh with Leah. So here's my take on what she's going through.**

**Disclaimer: If it sounds familiar, then it isn't mine.**

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I leaned over the edge of the cliff, staring blankly as the waves crashed against the rock. I vaguely wondered if jumping off onto the rocks would hurt me, or if it would just leave a mess for Sa--

Jacob. For _Jacob_ and the others to clean up. I wasn't part of Sam's pack anymore.

Disgusted, I flipped over and stared at the perpetually-cloudy sky, wishing a hole would open up and swallow me.

Don't get me wrong; things with Jacob were okay. Well, better than okay, considering I wasn't burdened with dealing with Sam anymore. But...

I was the other one. It always came back to that. I know Emily tried to help me out through this, and I had offered to be a bridesmaid at _their_ wedding, but I wasn't sure if I could make it. I really wasn't sure.

I loved Emily; she had been like a sister to me, and Sam... I shuddered. I still cared about her, and him too, but it hurt to think about them, together.

I heard what the others said; I wasn't stupid. _Aw… Poor Leah. She used to be so nice... Sam was such a good influence on her... Now look at her, the bitter shrew..._

It sickened me. I didn't need or _want_ their pity. I just wanted someone to care. Jacob, and the others, for that matter, always complained when I was around. And, to be honest, I don't blame them. I'm a bitch. But I can't stand being the only miserable one. If I'm going down, they're coming down with me.

Either way, it hurt. I wasn't wanted. I knew that, but I also knew I was part of the pack, and I couldn't run away from that. It was in my blood. I still remember when I was a little kid, and my dad would tell us the stories...

My heart clenched painfully. _Daddy…_ Would things have been different if my dad was still alive? I know that he died because his body tried to phase when the damn leeches arrived; his heart couldn't take it and it gave out. But would things have really made a difference if he was still around?

_Well, think about it, moron. If he was still here, _you_ probably wouldn't have phased_.

I wrinkled my nose irritably and glared at the dark sky, hoping I could just stay here. There was nothing worth fighting for anymore: Mom had Charlie now; Seth was doing just fine on his own. No one else gave a rat's ass. So what was left?

And it wasn't like I could hope for anything good in the future; if I couldn't have kids, then I was practically useless. No imprinting for _this_ sorry excuse for a werewolf.

My head was pounding painfully, making me groan. Even though I knew it would probably make my headache worse, I yanked my iPod from my pocket and shoved the ear buds on.

_"... I never dreamed that you'd be mine, but here we are, we're here tonight..."_ Irritated, I stabbed at the _next_ button while images of Sam rushed through my head.

_"Sometimes I'm a selfish fake... You're always a true friend... I don't deserve you 'cause I'm not there for you... Please forgive me again... I wanna be there for you..."_ Now visions of Emily replaced Sam's face. Crap...

Dammit! I glared at the little screen, flipping through the songs until I found something semi-decent-- none of that lovey-dovey, I-miss-you crap. I didn't need to mess with my head any more; my conscience was doing that for me.

Why is it that whenever you want to listen to something raw and dark, you end up hearing sad songs that scream the truth in every word? Does the world really hate me that much?

_"This world will never be what I expected, and if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?"_

I blinked, confused. Whoa, had these guys stalked me or something? It was... eerie.

_"I will not leave alone everything that I own, to make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late..."_

Okay, enough. I turned off the iPod and slammed it into my pocket, feeling even more miserable. Karma was a bitch sometimes.

"Why did everyone get their happy ending but me?" I demanded, staring up at the cloudy sky. "What did I do in a past life to deserve this?!"

Stupid Jake and his stupid little vampire hybrid.

Stupid Paul and Rachel.

Stupid Quil and Claire. Well... Claire not so much; she was like a second-cousin of mine.

Stupid Jared and Kim.

Stupid Sam...

I gritted my teeth and shot up, growling. I couldn't take this anymore. I just couldn't. How could they expect me to be, well, _nice_ when all of this piled on me?! I'm not invincible...

I surprised myself by letting out a ragged sob, my chest heaving painfully. Keeping everything inside was finally breaking loose.

Furious flashbacks of my life ran through my head: meeting Sam for the first time; him asking me to be his girlfriend... Other, more _personal_ aspects of our relationship, and then the change... Sam disappearing for weeks, me worried sick; then him coming back, completely distant. And Emily...

Tears streamed down my face angrily, making me choke. I felt like my whole body was being ripped apart; I would rather take on an entire vampire army than deal with this.

A loud, keening noise reached my ears, and I realized, horrified, that it was me. _Dammit, Leah. Get a hold of yourself!_ But try as I might, I just couldn't. I just sobbed harder.

"Leah?" A shocked voice called. I could barely breathe, but I sucked in a deep lungful of air, wiped away the tears still running down my cheeks and turned around, glaring at whoever had come in viciously.

Lo and behold, Jake and Sam stood, side by side, surprised looks on their faces. I guess they were talking Alpha stuff. I felt my heart pound against my chest painfully, my lungs burning.

Jacob stepped forward uncertainly, wondering if he should help me. Well, I certainly wasn't going to let him. I stood up, ran the back of my hand across my eyes, and shook my head to clear it. The only way out was through Sam and Jake, so I figured I'd get it over with.

"Hey... you okay?" Stupid question on Jake's part, but the gesture was nice. He cared about his pack, I think. I gulped loudly.

"Yeah, great. See you later," I mumbled thickly, setting the cold, hard mask on my face, the one I'd worn ever since the Emily/Sam fiasco. I patted Jake's shoulder to let him know I'd live, and continued.

I couldn't even look up at Sam as I stalked past him, trying hard not to breathe in his scent. As if it didn't haunt me already.

"Le-Leah?" I gritted my teeth, my body shaking viciously. No, please, don't. Don't do this to me...

I looked up. "What, Sam?" I asked coolly, trying to keep my voice from betraying me. I could have sworn I saw Sam flinch.

"I..."

I rolled my eyes, letting the bitterness welling in my throat take over. _This_ was why I never bothered with anyone.

"Whatever. I'm leaving." Not exactly the nicest thing I could have said, but just being so close was excruciating; I wasn't sure how I'd managed to last in _his_ pack for so long.

"_It's not too late... it's never too late..._" I froze, glaring at the ear buds sticking out of my pocket. Guess I didn't turn it off right.

"It's right, you know," Sam whispered, making me whip around in surprise. Jacob seemed as surprised as I was.

"What's right?" I asked, trying to sound disinterested. Sam looked up, his eyes full of sorrow. Good. At least he knew how I felt, somewhat.

"It's not too late, Lee-lee." He gave me a weak smile, adverting his gaze and leaving me standing there, numb.

Lee-lee. That was... I shook my head, shivers running down my spine, tempting me to phase and rip his throat out. How _dare_ he...?

"Leah." I looked up at Jacob, whose face was now a bit dark. "Go back home, okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to thank him. Instead, I just turned around and followed the trail down, eyes blank.

_"Even if I say it'll be alright... Still I hear you say you want to end your life... Now and again we try, to just stay alive... Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late; it's never too late..."_

I shot the ground a bitter grin. "Not too late, huh?"

As if to prove a point, the cloud cover suddenly parted, making a small beam of sunshine light my way. Who knows? Maybe they're right.

- - - - - - -

**Crappy ending, but I've been trying hard to write more recently. Tell me what you guys think.**


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